This seems like a good place to start. Politeness, etiquette, manners, virtue, courtesies… they are not just words. What about the Golden Rule, Karma, cause and effect? The best of life comes from sharing and generating an epidemic of positive energy. Taking part in this epidemic calls for a revival in social grace.

Summer holidays are a time for social and family reunions, weddings, and travel. They are a time where your social grace is on exhibit. Do you feel your social grace represents you well? Do you feel satisfied with the response you’re getting to your exhibit? Are you pleased with the cause and effect?

If you answered no to any of the above questions, here are some tips to improve your social grace at at any kind of holiday gathering with friends or with family. These tips also work well for any kind of business event:

1.  Keep in mind, every event has two kinds of people … hosts and guests. Hosts make the introductions and make people feel comfortable. Guests need attention and maintenance.  At your next event, be more of a host and less of a guest. Start with a scan of the room. If you see someone you know, greet him or her. If they don’t introduce you, introduce yourself. Say something like:

“I don’t believe we’ve met before, I’m Sara”

or
“I’m sorry, I think we’ve met before but I’m rotten with names, what’s your name again?”
or

We discussed our favorite recipes, I’m Sara, please remind me of you name.

People love that you recognize them. If you need a topic for initiating a conversation, ask “how do you know the host?”

2.  Are you a rock piler? This is when people huddle together in a tight circle because it feels safer. Resist the urge to do this! Excuse yourself – yes, always, excuse yourself – say something like “I need to say hello to…” or simply “excuse me”.

If you know someone else, head his or her way and start over.

If you don’t, get another drink (remember, no good guest becomes intoxicated) and while in line, start small talk other people in line. Maybe begin by introducing yourself, say, “Great party, have we met? My name is Sara.” Good manners suggest that when holding a drink, hold it in your left hand, keep your right hand free for a handshake.

If there’s food, get a bite or two, and make small talk with others at the table. Maybe announce “great food!” On the other hand, if the food is bad, compliment the tablecloth. Find something nice to say! Not only is the nice thing to do, you never know who might be listening.

When eating, take very small bites in order to clear out of your mouth quickly.

If you don’t feel like drinking or eating, fine. Simply ease to the edge of a group that doesn’t appear to be having a private conversation. If they look questioningly your way, say something like, “Hi, I’m doing my best to be sociable and meet new people, I’m Sara.”

.. Don’t group hop or act as though your in scanner mode. Look people in the eye, listen politely, act interested and excuse yourself when you decide to move on.

Good manners suggest a social gathering is not the place to do business, even if it is a business-related social gathering. If you encounter someone who could benefit your business, schedule an appointment.

3. Dress appropriately. When in doubt, dress better.

4. Avoid boxing – squaring your shoulders front and center in front of one person. It’s okay with one on one conversation but excludes others from joining in. Be open for others to join in your conversation.

5. Put your coat and bag down. Holding onto to your coat says you just arrived, you are about to leave or you need a shield. While women can be forgiven for keeping a purse with them, men can’t.

6. Set a good example of social grace. Consider mentoring a younger family member or a friend. Try to introduce people to something you enjoy (perhaps a good book or movie, maybe a favorite hiking trail) at every social event.

7. Don’t forget to get mentored… make it a goal yourself to learn at least three new things at every social event. When learning, tilt your head (without going overboard) and look like the great listener you are!

8. Be a good host while you’re someone else’s guest. Say hi to the wallflowers. Be gracious to everyone. Make introductions too. Introduce a junior person to a senior person. When making introductions, include a positive snippet about both people…  for example:

“Mandy I’d like to introduce you to Sue, she’s an engineer who also loves to design costumes. Sue, this is my friend Mandy whom I told you about from my investment club.”

9. Managing the party host. When interacting with the host, ask simple upbeat yes/no questions and don’t monopolize them… they are hosting the party after all.

10. Always, always, always: Thank the host before you leave.

Enjoy!

Sources:

Rowland, Dianna. “Networking 201” http://www:sfwa.org/2009/07/networking-201-how-to-“work-a-room”. Retrieved 12/06/2010.

Chiang, Larry. “10 tips for founders en route to the power-party circuit” from http://www.bspcn.com/207/06/30/how-to-work-the-room. Retrieved 12/06/2010.

My list is long. It includes all my grandparents — one who offers guidance, one who watches over me when I cook, one who reminds me to travel the world, and one who encourages me to tell my stories. It includes my parents, both who I call on for strength. It includes my husband, the man who challenges me, believes in me and loves me. It also includes mentors I’ve never met, but who inspire me to live with intention. It includes friends who make me laugh and who help me grow.

Helpful people are all around us. Why go through life alone? Create your own list of angels – consider starting with one to attract helpful people, one to help you realize your dreams in love, one to mentor and guide your business and wealth, one to inspire your spirituality and courage, and one to remind you to live well and laugh often.

With your list in hand, find your Helpful People gua. When walking in the front door, it’s located in the front right corner. Start by removing anything that depletes your energy, especially clutter.

Hopefully your Helpful People gua is not located in a bathroom, but if it is, it is. Energize the space by adding “a night light and keep it on twenty-four hours a day.” 1

Wherever the space is located, enhance it by adding a plant or water fountain. Add inspirational art portraying nature. Display photos of you enjoying time with friends in metal picture frames. Place a round, empty bowl near the door to attract helpers and opportunities your way. Display books written by authors you admire. Promote community by displaying items in groupings of three (i.e. three books, three candles, three coat hooks). Accent with the colors gray, silver, black and white. For aroma, consider the scent of thyme for empowerment.

What’s missing? You. To further stimulate the helpful people energy in your life, you must become a helpful person yourself. Volunteer and make charitable donations. Mentor someone else. Give of yourself!

1. Barrett, Jayme (2003). feng shui your life. New York, NY: Sterling Publishing Co., Inc., 146.

- by Tammy Long

As with everything feng shui, there are some basic underlying principles to apply. First, clear the clutter — from the top of your desk, the bookshelves, and the floor. Fix or get rid of all the broken things, throw out all the dead flowers and plants, and remove the things you never use. Get organized. Use organizing trays in drawers for pens, paper clips and more. Keep only active files and projects in filing cabinets and store the rest. Be efficient. Reflect the reputation you want — remember, your surroundings mirror you and you mirror you surroundings.

Consider placing your desk in an optimal position, one where you have a view of the largest part of room/entryway – not directly in front of door. A position where your back is supported by wall or something solid not a large window, one where your desk is divided from the discussion area if possible, and one where your desk is not shoved up against a wall with your back to the door.

Find a good chair. One that provides good ergonomic support … after all, you sit there all day.

Think color. Colorful offices liven things up. To support the business intent, consider a touch of red to motivate and increase action, yellow and orange to cheer, blue and lavender to sooth, green to balancing and invite new opportunities, black and brown accents to bring about stability, red and gold combined in accents to promote prosperity.

Accessorize. Add art depicting mountains, landscapes or seascapes are at eye level to encourage vision or hang inspirational art or pictures across from your desk to inspire endless possibilities. Display certificates or achievements in red frames– they are good for your confidence, self-worth, and enhance your reputation. Remove any items that remind you of unsuccessful projects. Consider adding soft-leaved plants rather than cacti. Consider bookshelves that are closed in. And, don’t place mirrors reflecting you at your desk – it multiplies your workload – who needs that?

For lighting, use halogen or incandescent rather than fluorescent lights. Even better, use full-spectrum bulbs.

For your health, get out and take a walk during lunch – sunlight is good for everyone. Lose the negative people and surround yourself with the positive. Place a plant next to your computer to counteract harmful electromagnetic effects. Play soft music for pleasure and privacy — especially if your office is a cubicle. And if allowed, place a water fountain in the wealth corner (the far left corner from the door) to calm.

This should get you off to a great start … now follow your intuition, have some fun and create your own “perfect office.”

- by Tammy Long

The foundation for making your money work for you begins both at home and with you. Feng shui works to improve the energy flow of spaces and encourage overall balance and harmony in life.

Improving the energy flow of spaces calls for keeping one’s surroundings clutter free, organized, and properly aligned. Home is considered the foundation or personal retreat. Keep it simple. Too much stuff creates stress.

The office is the space that generates wealth and prosperity, the space you spend nearly a third of your life in. Make it inviting and comfortable – reflective of your intentions. And if your business is in retail, the store may be your office. Success depends on attracting customers. To draw them in, make the windows and doors attractive and interesting. Once in the door, give customers a reason to stay – the longer someone stays, the greater the sales potential. Make your displays beautiful! Make your space interesting! Create an experience!!!

People who live and work in well-balanced environments tend to be balanced, happy, healthy people. Balanced, happy, healthy people are more in harmony with life – an attitude that can be contagious. Be contagious. Make your money work for you by being a well-balanced, happy, and healthy person — and create a work environment that delivers a great customer service experience!!!

–by Tammy Long
This article first appeared in the July 2010 “Things To Do” Magazine.

Spouse, lover, friend, mom, dad, coach, volunteer, mentor, son, daughter, homemaker, wage earner, handyman, taxi driver, cook …

These are but a few of the things people list as the various roles they play. Most list at least five and while that may seem like a lot, chances are it’s just the tip of the iceberg. When asked what they’d like to learn and discover, they say they’d like to read more, become more spiritual, learn a new hobby or a new language, write a book, or take time to meditate. Seem disconnected? Absolutely!

The roles listed are generally about a commitment to others while the things listed for learning and discovery are generally about self. Very seldom (if ever) do people list “nurturing me” as a role. Think about it, when was the last time you thought of yourself as a one of the roles you play? As human beings we tend to forget about cultivating self. In fact, most of us feel a little guilty if we put ourselves first – go ahead, admit it! As a result we become self-critical, impatient and intolerant. We are not as giving or forgiving, as we’d like to be, especially of our own actions. We lack compassion.
Worse yet, without a commitment to self, the potential exists to become resentful and angry, causing a serious drain on one’s energy.

Why not enhance your surroundings to enhance self? Claim a space, in any gua, but somewhere you like to be, and dedicate it to you. Make it beautiful – add a chair, a lamp, a few books, some flowers and a clock to remind yourself that your time there belongs to you. Then, take time each day to sit there alone and nurture your soul. Get to know yourself. Learn to respect and love yourself again (or for the first time). Discover what it feels like to be comfortable in your own skin. Doing so can lead to amazing things.

To take things further, locate the Knowledge & Self-Cultivation gua. It’s located in the lower left corner of your home.

Begin by clearing the clutter! Big surprise, right? Clutter weighs everything down, limiting opportunities, and women especially tend to dedicate time to everything and everyone else — long before making time for self. Being clutter free is like getting a guilt-free permission slip to tap into you.

Remove all negatives and dead plants. Get rid of all the reading piles – old magazines, newspapers, books you’ll never really read — the information overload blocks your intuition.

Add healthy plants, lamps, dark green and blue accessories, photos of people who inspire you, reflective artwork such as mountains, gardens or beaches. Be sure to add books you are currently reading. Energize the space with a water fountain. If possible, add an armchair and maybe a lamp.

Next time someone asks you to list the roles you play, consider self as one of your most important. Take time to nurture and cultivate the person you are. Learn to respect, love and honor “the me” inside. Empower yourself to take time to learn about things that matter to you. Inspire your spouse, your children, and your friends. Celebrate the loving, patient and compassionate person you are.

–by Tammy Long
A condensed version of this article first appeared in the May 2010 “Things To Do” Magazine.

]]> http://www.asuitespace.com/260/feed/ 309 http://www.asuitespace.com/the-aroma-of-clean/ http://www.asuitespace.com/the-aroma-of-clean/#comments Mon, 01 Mar 2010 23:53:55 +0000 suitespace http://www.asuitespace.com/?p=225 As we prod along through winter, we tend to spend more time indoors with doors and windows closed. Often, stale odors take over — from carpets, refrigerators, the furniture, laundry rooms and more.

There’s nothing like the aroma of clean! It’s fresh, welcoming and stimulating. From a feng shui perspective, it’s healthy. Be ready for spring! Pick a sunny day, turn the music on, open the windows, de-clutter and give your home the gift of clean.

Dust everything – the walls, ceiling fans, light fixtures, picture frames, bookcases, books, the top of the refrigerator. Take advantage of the opportunity to get rid of dead plants and flowers, unwanted books, broken frames, old newspapers and magazines, things you no longer use, unwanted gifts, things you don’t like, things you’ll never really repair, inherited clutter, mystery boxes and empty boxes. If you don’t love it or don’t use it, get rid of it!

Vacuum everything you can’t dust – furniture, behind and under furniture, carpeting, behind doors, rugs, behind the refrigerator. Clean the windows, the mirrors, and all the glass – make it shine.

Now, wash down all the hard surfaces with an all-purpose scented household cleaner. Choose citrus fruits or pine for their clean aromatic qualities. Oranges are cheerful and uplifting and best of all, stimulating for any stagnate energy. Lemons are radiant and pine is naturally fresh and warming. 1

–by Tammy Long
A condensed version of this article first appeared in the March 2010 “Things to Do” Magazine.

1 Gill Farrer-Halls, The Aromatherapy Bible (New York: Sterling Publishing Company, 2005) 318, 322, 343.

]]> http://www.asuitespace.com/the-aroma-of-clean/feed/ 104 http://www.asuitespace.com/feng-shui-tips-for-making-your-new-years-resolutions/ http://www.asuitespace.com/feng-shui-tips-for-making-your-new-years-resolutions/#comments Mon, 28 Dec 2009 05:31:29 +0000 suitespace http://www.asuitespace.com/?p=193 It’s time to make your New Year’s resolutions! Feng shui is about transformation – of your surrounding environment and of you. This year, enhance each of the feng shui life areas and resolve to “be.”

CAREER
Life is a journey, have fun along the way. To make yourself available for opportunity, make sure your doorbell works properly. Seek to do the things you love doing, and visualize successful outcomes. Resolve to be accepting and go with the flow.

LOVE, MARRIAGE AND RELATIONSHIPS
Smile. Step out and take a risk. Show compassion and love for others. Resolve to be loving, not always right.

FAMILY
Cherish your family and honor your heritage. Display photos, especially of happy times with happy people. Resolve to be grateful for family and friends.

WEALTH & PROSPERITY
Count your blessings, small and large. Create your own cycle of giving and receiving. Keep your toilet seats down. Resolve to be flexible, like the wind.

CENTER
Eat healthy food, drink lots of water, get plenty of exercise, swim in the ocean, laugh, enjoy some alone time daily, and go barefoot in the grass. Take it easy and don’t rush. Resolve to be more centered, to worry less and play more.

HELPFUL PEOPLE & TRAVEL
Ask for guidance from the wise. Surround yourself with good company. Plan a dream vacation. Resolve to be helpful.

CHILDREN & CREATIVITY
Skip, dance and sing! Call on the child inside. Resolve to be more creative — with your cooking, writing, speaking, with everything you do.

WISDOM & SELF-CULTIVATION
Read a great book! Sit quietly under your favorite tree. Take time to listen to your soul. Resolve to create your own alone time to simply “be.”

FAME
Illuminate your passion! Display your awards and certifications in the south. Resolve to be inspirational.

-by Tammy Long. A condensed version of this article first published in January, 2009, “Things to Do.”

]]> http://www.asuitespace.com/feng-shui-tips-for-making-your-new-years-resolutions/feed/ 24 http://www.asuitespace.com/the-art-of-giving/ http://www.asuitespace.com/the-art-of-giving/#comments Wed, 02 Dec 2009 02:09:21 +0000 suitespace http://www.asuitespace.com/?p=183 According to feng shui, gift giving with goodwill is auspicious for both the giver and the recipient. It’s essential to circulating positive energy. There’s also a bit of an art to it. Giving should encourage balance and harmony, not increased clutter or negative feelings.

It’s always best to listen to people, they often tell you what they want. If what they want is something you can give with an open heart and is something that fits comfortably within your budget, go for it! If not, here are some other ideas.

Spice up someone’s life with a gift basket containing five spice jars filled with cinnamon, ginger, cloves, anise and nutmeg. Ground someone with a soft, cozy, rich colored blanket. Enhance someone’s creativity with a silver frame filled with a beautiful photograph. Increase someone’s health and prosperity with a small desktop water fountain. Maybe you’d like to inspire someone, give a beautiful wooden box filled with green tea bags or a book, perhaps Mitch Alborn’s “Have a Little Faith: A True Story.”

You might also consider giving a pair of fluffy white towels or a pine-scented candle. Or maybe, give a gift of baby sitting services, a dinner gift card, something you’ve made yourself, or pay someone’s rent for a month. Here in Grand Junction, a nice bottle of wine from a local vineyard, a box of Enstrom’s Toffee, or a selection of jams from a local orchard are always welcome too.

The presentation of any gift is especially important. Be creative and make it beautiful! Line the box with tissue, wrap the gift in bright colored paper or silk — red and gold are best –and tie with matching ribbon. And never use too much tape!

Avoid giving empty boxes or containers. They suggest the giver has nothing genuine to offer. If giving sharp items, neutralize the cutting effect by attaching a coin to the cutting edge. Clocks or watches remind people time is running out – not an auspicious gift!

–by Tammy Long, Published in December 2009 “Things To Do”

]]> http://www.asuitespace.com/the-art-of-giving/feed/ 228 http://www.asuitespace.com/gratitude/ http://www.asuitespace.com/gratitude/#comments Tue, 03 Nov 2009 19:30:38 +0000 suitespace http://www.asuitespace.com/?p=175 As a symbol of cooperation and an expression of gratitude for an abundant crop, Plymouth colonists and Wampanoag Indians shared their first autumn harvest feast in 1621. To many, this is considered to have been the very first Thanksgiving celebration.

As you celebrate Thanksgiving 2009, why not take time to honor your heritage, your traditions and your family. Honoring family in your home is not only a symbol of cooperation, but also an expression of gratitude that contributes to your overall life balance and prosperity. This year, before your Thanksgiving guests arrive, take time to remove all photos, gifts or inherited antiques that feel draining to you. Remove all dead things (dead plants, dried flowers, and preserved insects). Proudly display family photos and heirlooms and be ready to share their stories. Soften sharp corners with bushy plants and for fun, name plants after your favorite ancestors. Fill a curvy glass vase with cream-colored flowers and place it near a northern window. Open your heart. To relax guests, play soft calming music during dinner, make sure all diners can see each other clearly over centerpieces, and make sure no diners sit with their backs directed to the door. To celebrate an abundance of food, potentially doubling the family prosperity, place a mirror at table level to reflect the food.

May your Thanksgiving be filled with abundance and gratitude!

–by Tammy Long, Published in November 2009 “Things To Do”

]]> http://www.asuitespace.com/gratitude/feed/ 242 http://www.asuitespace.com/simplfy-and-organize/ http://www.asuitespace.com/simplfy-and-organize/#comments Wed, 29 Jul 2009 15:45:23 +0000 admin http://www.asuitespace.com/?p=75 Congratulations! You’ve purged the clutter, donated those old toys to Goodwill and enjoyed your yard sale rewards.

Now what? In today’s world, we’re all seeking ways to maximize our resources, live with less, and enjoy life more. It helps to simplify and get organized. Here’s how.

Begin with a variety of containers. Sort like items with like items. For example, drop spices in one container, board games in another, wrapping paper in another, books in another. You get the idea.

Now, locate and organize items near usage points — make sure everyone in the house knows where that is. For example, spices should be located near kitchen workstations, maybe in a drawer. If board game play takes place in the living room, perhaps a shelf in the living room closet would work best. If you gift-wrap in the office, consider placing all wrapping supplies (paper, tags, tape, ribbon) inside a decorative box or wicker basket and locate it in the office. Be creative.

To simplify further, create activity bags — for hiking, the pool, and the museum — bags you can grab on the way out the door. Include always-needed items like sun block, bug spray, first aid kits, and water bottles. Keep bags stocked, organized, near the door, and ready to go.

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