Spouse, lover, friend, mom, dad, coach, volunteer, mentor, son, daughter, homemaker, wage earner, handyman, taxi driver, cook …
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These are but a few of the things people list as the various roles they play. Most list at least five and while that may seem like a lot, chances are it’s just the tip of the iceberg. When asked what they’d like to learn and discover, they say they’d like to read more, become more spiritual, learn a new hobby or a new language, write a book, or take time to meditate. Seem disconnected? Absolutely!
The roles listed are generally about a commitment to others while the things listed for learning and discovery are generally about self. Very seldom (if ever) do people list “nurturing me” as a role. Think about it, when was the last time you thought of yourself as a one of the roles you play? As human beings we tend to forget about cultivating self. In fact, most of us feel a little guilty if we put ourselves first – go ahead, admit it! As a result we become self-critical, impatient and intolerant. We are not as giving or forgiving, as we’d like to be, especially of our own actions. We lack compassion.
Worse yet, without a commitment to self, the potential exists to become resentful and angry, causing a serious drain on one’s energy.
Why not enhance your surroundings to enhance self? Claim a space, in any gua, but somewhere you like to be, and dedicate it to you. Make it beautiful – add a chair, a lamp, a few books, some flowers and a clock to remind yourself that your time there belongs to you. Then, take time each day to sit there alone and nurture your soul. Get to know yourself. Learn to respect and love yourself again (or for the first time). Discover what it feels like to be comfortable in your own skin. Doing so can lead to amazing things.
To take things further, locate the Knowledge & Self-Cultivation gua. It’s located in the lower left corner of your home.
Begin by clearing the clutter! Big surprise, right? Clutter weighs everything down, limiting opportunities, and women especially tend to dedicate time to everything and everyone else — long before making time for self. Being clutter free is like getting a guilt-free permission slip to tap into you.
Remove all negatives and dead plants. Get rid of all the reading piles – old magazines, newspapers, books you’ll never really read — the information overload blocks your intuition.
Add healthy plants, lamps, dark green and blue accessories, photos of people who inspire you, reflective artwork such as mountains, gardens or beaches. Be sure to add books you are currently reading. Energize the space with a water fountain. If possible, add an armchair and maybe a lamp.
Next time someone asks you to list the roles you play, consider self as one of your most important. Take time to nurture and cultivate the person you are. Learn to respect, love and honor “the me” inside. Empower yourself to take time to learn about things that matter to you. Inspire your spouse, your children, and your friends. Celebrate the loving, patient and compassionate person you are.
–by Tammy Long
A condensed version of this article first appeared in the May 2010 “Things To Do” Magazine.
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